I’m English. There, I’ve said it. I can’t help it, it was a either stroke of universal luck or bad fortune, depending on which side of the….English….channel you stand. I was weaned at an early age off milk and straight onto the hard stuff: Yorkshire Tea, Grandma’s favourite as she was from Leeds. I’m not ashamed to admit that my tea-drinking foibles have accompanied me wherever I’ve laid my hat, even after 18yrs of living outside the UK. Here in Sweden they drink more coffee than almost anyone, anywhere, so most look at me fondly when I turn up in the kitchen clutching my PG Tips and confirming their deep-rooted stereotype of an English person.
I started a new project a few weeks ago and gained several fantastic resources in my team, one of which doesn’t seem to miss a trick. While I’ve been trying to weigh up my team and find out what makes them tick it seems that he’s been doing the same with me. Now it hasn’t passed me by that he’s been watching my drinking habits. In fact I’ve been very aware of the fact that he’s been observing what I drink when we meet in the kitchen or have planning meetings.
“Oh you’re drinking coffee today!?” and “Ah, the typical English black tea is back on the menu” or “How much [tea] do you drink during the day?”.
Now from my perspective I’ve interpreted this behaviour as a bit of smalltalk, a way for him to get to know his project manager, to find a common ground and build rapport. I want to find the correct communication wavelength that he feels comfortable and effective with and so as an engineer and analytical type I understand that he probably prefers basing conversations on concrete, observable facts and tangible information. My tea/coffee/whatever drinking is very tangible and observable and I’m happy talking about it.
So imagine my surprise when he came up to me the other day and felt the need to explain his inquisitive behaviour.
“I’m glad to see that you at least don’t drink herbal tea, Helen. I always get worried when a project manager starts drinking herbal tea. I once had a project manager who drank coffee at the beginning of the project and then as time went by, and the project started to get a bit shaky, he suddenly started drinking black fruit teas and then finally, before he got totally stressed and burnt out, he was drinking herbal tea!”
Most of us would like to think that we’ve been in the game long enough to expect the unexpected when getting to know and building teams but this has really put a smile on my face and challenged my presumptions. I noted the twinkle in his eye as he told me his anecdote but what for me was chitchat was something of deeper significance for him. I told him that I appreciated his concern and assured him that although from time to time I have been known to drink herbal tea, I stick to the same tea every day and that he should maybe only worry when I start drinking too much coffee.
This morning I thought that I’d throw him off-guard a little by turning up with a cup of hot chocolate. His facial expression was a picture as he tightly grasped his coffee cup. We analysed the significance of hot chocolate and what it could mean for the project and laughed and laughed. We came to the conclusion that we’re going to deliver a great project result. That remains to be seen but we’re off to a very good start. I will probably bring some home-baked scones and clotted cream to our next team meeting.
So forget the old rule that there’s no “I” in “team”. I’ve now replaced it with there’s lots of tea in TEAmbuilding. Oh, and beware the Project Manager who drinks herbal tea!
